Mitch McConnel is a senator from Kentucky, the leader of the Senate, and one of several things wrong with our government. My two greatest fears for my country and the safety of my family are that the government has not adequately prepared or put aside sufficient resources to deal with a possible zombie apocalypse, and that Mitch McConnell will somehow get reelected in 2020.

FUN FACT: Mitch is more worried about me than election security. Also, look for me in chapter six of I’ve Been Deader,” a near perfect blend of horror and comedy!

This post is just as much about Mitchs wife, Elaine Chao, as it is about him. Because a family that steals together, stays together, and nobody does that better than Sen. McConnell and Secretary of Transportation, Elaine Chao, a corrupt government official who puts herself and her husband’s power before the good of the country.

Here’s where I would give the usual background information on Mr. McConnell. But then I remember you have access to the internet and I’m not here to hold your hand. That’s what Wikipedia is for.

I’m sure nothing I write here is going to be new to you. You read the news. You’re on twitter. You know a good Facebook meme when you see one. Still, sometimes we need to be reminded of the little things because, you know, it’s the little things, not zombies, that destroy democracy. Although if you really want to learn more about little zombies, take a look at chapter 19 of “I’ve Been Deader.” Right now, though, let’s stick to the little things about Mitch.

FIRST, THE BITCH

Mitch is married to Elaine. So Trump made Elaine Secretary of Transportation because, why not? Nothing is more important than family.

Take it from me: nepotism and politics don’t mix. Also, my daddy wants to date me and I’m dead inside!

As first reported in Politico, as Sec. of Transportation, Elaine helped Mitch get a $67.4 million grant application for Boone County, which is a politically important district for Mitch, who’s approval numbers in Kentucky are in the tank. The application for the grant was incomplete so Elaine gave them more time and then chose Mitch’s problem district as one of 26 grant winners out of an initial pool of 258 applicants. What a family!

The Government Accountability Office (“GAO”) criticized Elaine for failing to explain, as required by law, why the Boone County project received the extra chance to repair their submission application while 55 other incomplete applications were dismissed out of hand. It turns out there’s a simple answer to this question: Boone County officials were in contact with Chao’s aide Todd Inman Todd is a former McConnell campaign staffer. Todd’s jam is making sure Kentuckians with business problems go to the front of the line for Elaine’s help. In her first 14 months as transportation secretary, one in four of the scheduled meetings with local officials on Ms. Chao’s calendar were with Kentuckians. I never knew Kentucky was such a transportation hub! In yet another amazing coincidence, most of these meetings were with supporters of Mitch.

Elaine and Mitch love to blur the boundaries between government and family. Which is funny, because Donald promised to end stuff like nepotism, conflicts of interest and corruption. I believe he called it “the swamp,” or something.

Okay, enough about Elaine. Except to say that her family owns a major shipping company with ties to China and Elaine has had to be reminded on several occasions that federal law prohibits a government official using her office for personal gain, which she tried to do on her first official trip to China and several times thereafter.

NOW, THE OTHER BITCH

I won’t bore you with Mitch’s blatant hypocrisy and his apparent joy in publicly admitting it. We all know he’s told Fox News he would coordinate with the White House on Trump’s impeachment trial. Instead, I want to bore you with other stuff.

As leader of the Senate, Mitch gets to decide what bills will be voted on to become law. So, far that pretty much amounts to zero. Trump may label Democrats as the “do nothing dems,” but Mitch has made it his life’s mission to make sure nothing gets done, other than affirming as a federal judge any cartoon villain who agrees with a right wing agenda.

Right now, there are about 300 bills on McConnell’s desk. That’s a lot of nothing from those do nothing dems. 280 of these bills have at least some Republican backing. A bunch of those bills address boring things like election security. I wonder why a politician like Mitch would want to block laws that help ensure the legitimacy of U.S. elections. I guess we’ll never know.

On a completely unrelated note, there seems to be a bit of a link between Mitch McConnell and Russian oil money.

The Senate Leadership Fund is a super PAC run by McConnell’s former Chief of Staff. The PAC received $3,500,000 from Access Industries. Access Industries is owned by Len Blavatnik, another Russian oligarch. A Russian oligarch is a fancy term for the leader of a criminal enterprise who works for Putin. Len also donated to Sen. McConnell’s 2016 Senate campaign fund.

After receiving such generous interest in his career from Putin’s bestie, McConnell voted to drop sanctions against a Russian aluminum company RusAl, owned by Russian oligarch, Oleg Deripaska. Dropping sanctions benefits Mitch’s major donor, Len, who makes all his money from Russian oil. Here’s how:

Len made billions from Putin’s decisions about its Russian oil partnership. See, back in 2013, a bunch of bankers at Deutsche Bank oversaw the transfer of $28 billion from the Russian state owned oil company Rosneft, to another company controlled by Putin’s fab four – Mikhail Fridman, Viktor Vekselberg, Len Blavatnik and German Khan. So Len, McConnell’s major campaign donor, is also the business partner of Oleg Deripaska, the guy that Mitch voted to remove sanctions from. Removing those sanctions makes Len a lot of money, and ensures that Len gives Mitch a lot of money. But I’m sure that is not why Mitch refuses to allow bipartisan bills on preventing corruption of U.S. elections, to be put to a vote. I mean, I can’t think of any reason Mitch might have for stopping Russian influence on our elections, can you?

I’m not saying that Mitch is a Russian asset or that that Bitch and Bitcher are selling out our country for their own political and financial gain. What I am saying is that Mitch and Elaine are foreign assets and they are selling out our country for their own political and financial gain.

So, what can we do about it? How can we help our great president drain the swamp and make us all MAGA and gooey again? I think we have to #DitchMitch. And there’s no better time to do it than now. He’s up for reelection, his poll numbers suck, and who even knows if we’ll have a functioning government by 2021? So, now is the time.

In a normal world, there would be a serious challenger that stands a chance to defeating #MoscowMitch at the polls. And apparently, there’s still a bit of normal left.

Amy MCGrath

Amy McGrath is a retired US Marine Corps Lieutenant Colonel raised in Kentucky, is running for the US Senate to fix Washington and give Kentuckians back their voice. That’s what she says, anyway. She’s also not Mitch or his self-serving wife, so that’s a plus. She will have a tough road ahead of her, but she has a shot. If you have a few bucks, consider donating to her campaign. Because Mitch really is an immediate threat to our way of life, and unlike Donald, there’s no guaranty that he’ll go away in (god forbid) four more years.

We deserve a normal world.

Published by Adam Sifre

I'm a fifty something writer of fiction. That makes me over qualified to discuss politics.

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: